Child of GOD - Vineyard UK

Fight or Flight...

As a child, I was much bolder than I am now. My mother tells me stories of how I was strong, independent and sometimes a little too bold for my own good. Her favorite story to remind me of was a time when I had done something that I was not supposed to and got caught. My mother proceeded to discipline me by smacking my hand. Being the bold, independent child that I was, I proceeded to smack her right back. Smart move? I think not.
Irregardless, of how "bold" I was, there were a lot of things that scared me as well, and as a child, when you come upon something that is scary one of first reactions is to run away. I guess this has a lot to do with that natural instinct known as "fight or flight".
Ah, the good old "fight or flight response". This was first described by Walter Cannon in 1929. The fact that I even know about this is proof, that I actually did learn something in Introductory Psychology. So, the basic concept of fight or flight, without getting into the technical details, is that when faced with a stressor or threat our body gets ready to either fight or flee.
Personally, when I face a threat, such as a rather large spider, I RUN. There are not many things that lead me to respond with the fight option, unless it is too late to run away... then I often flail as opposed to fighting... it's usually, get it away from me so that I can then run. I'm pretty much a big wimp.
While I talk of spiders and other things that are scary, it turns out a lot of times when I face trials and stress in my life, I also take the option of running. Instead of standing firm and facing stress and difficulty, I am quick to say, "no thanks" and run in the other direction if at all possible. I am an avoider of the fight. Lately, I've been facing some trouble and having been made aware of my deficiencies in the "fight" department, I have been struggling to stand firm and face the fight. In my mind, I would much rather quit than face this trial... I desperately want to RUN.
The thing is God has told us that there will be trouble in this life...

"...in this world you will have trouble." John 16:33

We've been warned that trouble is coming, but we are also given more than that as God gives us hope for He goes on to say in that verse...

"But take heart! I have overcome the world."

When we face trials we need to stand firm, knowing that God has already overcome the world. He warned us that there would be trouble, so we should be ready for it. We need to ready ourselves for the fight. God reminds that he is always with us to help us through the trials and troubles of life.

Deuteronomy 31:8 "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

And I would be remiss if I did not mention one of my favorite Bible verses. Found amidst a sea of trouble, a golden nugget of awesomeness...

The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in Him. - Nahum 1:7

Yes, trouble is coming, but the Lord is with us. Amen.
A friend has been reminding me of late, that I should consider is "pure joy" to face trials and has led me to James 1 for the reason why... James 1:2-6 says...

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought...

I think that pretty much speaks for itself... but basically, facing trials and having our faith tested develops perseverance. What is perseverance? Well, here's the dictionary's explanation.

per-se-ver-ance:
–noun
1. steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., esp. in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.

Basically it's the polar opposite of running in the other direction. Certainly something to think about.
So, as difficult as it is for me right now, I'm going to stand firm, I'm not going to run in the other direction, and with God's help, I am going to face this trouble.

Starfield - I need a Father

Everybody has bad days and low points. I think today falls under that category for me. It was a bad day and I hit a low point.
One of my absolute favorite Christian artists, is Starfield. They are amazing men of God and always seem to write songs that speak truth and wisdom into my life. They have helped me through a lot of rough patches in my life... including today. I went for a drive today because I was feeling very attacked spiritually. As I was driving, I was listening to the newest Starfield cd which I had left in my car yesterday. This song "I Need a Father" began to play, and I bawled... it hit home. And it helped me get past my low point today. Thanks you Lord for being my Father.

Hold me somebody
Don't let me be alone
Love me, stay with me
I am dying to be known
My heart cries out

I need a Father
Whose love will never fail me
A friend like no other
Whose trusted arms will hold me
I need a Father

I am wounded
But I tuck the pain away
Free me, heal me
I don't want to be afraid
My heart cries out

Here's my heart
Be tender, please
Let me know Your love for me
Here's my heart
I’m on my knees
I will trust
‘Cause I believe

You are my Father
Your love will never fail me
A friend like no other
Your trusted arms will hold me
You are my Father

Isaiah 61

One of my favorite chapters of the Bible.

Isaiah 61
1 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners, [a]
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn,

3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.

4 They will rebuild the ancient ruins
and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities
that have been devastated for generations.

5 Aliens will shepherd your flocks;
foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.

6 And you will be called priests of the LORD,
you will be named ministers of our God.
You will feed on the wealth of nations,
and in their riches you will boast.

7 Instead of their shame
my people will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
they will rejoice in their inheritance;
and so they will inherit a double portion in their land,
and everlasting joy will be theirs.

8 "For I, the LORD, love justice;
I hate robbery and iniquity.
In my faithfulness I will reward them
and make an everlasting covenant with them.

9 Their descendants will be known among the nations
and their offspring among the peoples.
All who see them will acknowledge
that they are a people the LORD has blessed."

10 I delight greatly in the LORD;
my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.

11 For as the soil makes the sprout come up
and a garden causes seeds to grow,
so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness and praise
spring up before all nations.

Trusting Him while life shall last...

Sometimes, when you are looking for something fairly insignificant you come across something pretty significant that you weren't looking for and it makes you think.
Today while looking through files of scanned pictures from my parent's house I came across the scanned obituary and funeral program for my Grandma Lillian. I don't remember her much, she died when I was in Grade 1. At the age of 56, my Grandma passed away after battling breast cancer, and then a brain tumor. I remember the day that she passed I was at my babysitters for lunch when my parents came to bring me home and tell me she had passed. We had hotdogs for lunch. Funny, the things we remember sometimes.
I don't remember much about her as a person. What I know I got from pictures, my parents never really talked about her, that's how a lot of things go with my family... things happen, but we don't really talk about it, at least on my dad's side of the family anyway.
Back to my discovery today. It was certainly an interesting look into the life of this lady, who played a big role in my young life, but whom I never really got the chance to know. I learned a lot about her by reading her tribute. My Grandma came to know the Lord through her grandfather. Under his Godly influence, my Grandma became a follower of Jesus Christ at the age of seven. My Grandma faithfully participated in church all throughout her youth and became a leader in the church when she became an adult. She took her relationship with Jesus Christ very seriously and felt it her responsibility to visit the sick, help the needy and encourage those who were weak. My grandma was active in the church up until she passed away. The writer of her tribute quoted Proverbs 31 - "Her husband praiseth her; Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her works praise her in the gates".
I had no idea my Grandma was the amazing woman of God that her tribute describes her as.... I wish I had had the opportunity to know her.
As I read through the program for her funeral, one of the songs really struck home with me. Amazing words and something I needed a reminder of. Thanks Grandma Lillian.

Simply trusting everyday,
Trusting through a stormy way.
Even when my faith is small,
Trusting Jesus, that is all.

Chorus:
Trusting as the moments fly,
Trusting as the days go by.
Trusting him whate'er befall,
Trusting Jesus, that is all.

Brightly doth his Spirit shine,
into this poor heart of mine;
While he leads I need not fall,
Trusting Jesus, that is all.

Singing, if my way be clear,
Praying, if the path be drear.
If in danger, for Him call;
Trusting Jesus, that is all.

Trusting Him while life shall last,
Trusting Him till earth be past,
Til within the jasper wall;
Trusting Jesus, that is all.
[Edgar Page Stites]

Sing an old song... new again

When I was three years old, I started singing in church, accompanied by my Dad. It was the beginning of something that I love dearly, for I dearly love to sing. Over the past few years I've let this passion fizzle for a while, I think it was meant to be, I think God had a purpose for putting that passion on hold. I've spent the past few days going over some of my old music, trying to sort out where I want to go with my singing in the next year or so. Not too long ago, an old friend reminded me of those days when I started singing in church and in particular, one of my favorite songs to sing. Today, I found the words to that song that I sang when I was three, and I think today, I'm just going to leave you with the words to that song.

There are hundreds of sparrows, thousands, millions,
They're two a penny, far too many there must be;
There are hundreds, and thousands, millions of sparrows,
But God knows every one and God knows me.

There are hundreds of flowers, thousands, millions,
And flowers fair the meadow wears for all to see;
There are hundreds, and thousands, millions of flowers,
But God knows every one and God knows me.

There are hundreds of planets, thousands, millions,
Way out in space each has a place by God's decree;
There are hundreds, and thousands, millions of planets,
But God knows every one and God knows me.

There are hundreds of children, thousands, millions,
And yet their names are written on God's memory;
There are hundreds, and thousands, millions of children,
God knows every one and God knows me.
[Written by John Gowans]

Psalm 709

A Psalm by Heather. Written while she was sitting on a table on a Friday afternoon.

Oh God, you have created me from nothing.
You have taken me, a worthless piece of clay
and You have molded me into a beautiful creation.
Lord, Your name is to be praised forevermore.
Mere humans cannot even begin to see Your beauty,
You are beyond words.
My heart hungers for You, oh God.
Even when I am a disobedient child,
You, my Father, continue to love me.
When all else fails Lord, You remain
steadfast and strong...
You are unchanging, never failing.
I will praise your name all my life.
Never have I found, or will I ever find, a love
greater than Yours.
Lord, I will never be worthy of Your love.
But You, oh Gracious Father, have made me worthy by loving me anyways.
Forever, oh Lord, let Your name be praised.
Forever may Your Word, Your love, be proclaimed over the earth.
Father, I thirst for wisdom, I hunger for Your righteousness.
May my life be a testament of Your love.


*I wrote this approximately 6 years ago while participating in an urban ministry program.

My Beloved...

I love my Bible.
Seriously, I do... and not just because it's THE BIBLE. I have an NIV Worship Bible. When I bought it, I thought it was extremely appropriate given that I was a worship leader. Anyway, one of the reasons that I love my Bible so very much, is because of My Beloved. You see, there is a feature in my Bible which has taken scripture and paraphrased them into a letter, basically symbolizing a letter from God to His Beloved... that of course is ME! It never ceases to amaze me that God would choose me as His Beloved.
As mentioned before, I've been going through some difficult times in my life. There came a point in time during this trial that I realized that I was only surface skimming with God, that I had stopped seeking Him with my whole heart and diving into the deep water with Him. After making this realization, I picked up my Bible, which admittedly was quite dusty. One of the first things that caught my eye when I opened up my Bible was a letter to My Beloved...


My Beloved,
I know that you have grown weary. Look to Me for strength and seek My face always. Trust in Me and do not be afraid.
Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all this? I bring out the starry host one by one and call them each by name. Because of My great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing, so why do you say, "God doesn't see me; He has disregarded my cause"?
Don't you know? Haven't you heard? I am the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. I will not grow tired or weary, and My understanding no one can fathom. I give strength to the weary and increase the power of the weak. So I will strengthen you and help you. With My right hand I will hold you up. When you run you will not stumble or fall. In fact, you will feel like an eagle soaring above the world and all its problems.
So sing of My love and strength in the morning and of My faithfulness at night. For I am your Fortress; I am your Refuge in times of trouble. I am your God, and I love you.
I am your Strength. I am your Song. I am your Salvation. Trust in Me and do not be afraid. When your soul is weary with sorrow, I will strengthen you according to My Word.
(Ps 59:16-17; 92:2; 118:14; 119:28; Isa 12:2; 40:26-31; 41:10)

To ink or not to ink?

Lately I've been thinking about getting a tattoo. Not that I haven't thought about it on and off for the last few years, but lately, I've been thinking about it seriously.
The concept of the tattoo is not in question, there is no doubt in my mind what it is that I want permanently marked on my body and of course, there's a story behind it.
About seven years ago I crossed paths with one of the most influential women in my life, Marnie. Marnie and I met through a friend and there was no doubt that our meeting was orchestrated by God. God used.Marnie to speak incredible truth into my life. During our very first meeting, she pulled me aside and prayed over me, it's as if God had told her everything that was going on in my life. I thank God for the role that Marnie played in helping me to grow closer to Him. Marnie was in my life for about a year before she moved away to continue her ministry with her family. That one year was one of the most significant of my life.
So obviously after sharing that I would hope you've guessed that Marnie has something to do with this tattoo concept... And you would be right, sort of. It has more to do with the vision that God shared with her. One day I was with a bunch of my ministry teammates, on our way out of town for a weekend conference. During the drive, one of my teammates got a call on their cell phone and handed the phone to me (I didn't have a cell at the time, let alone a BlackBerry). This was Marnie calling for me. She advised that she had been praying for me and that during her prayer God had given her a vision. The gist of the vision was this... My heart was made of thin glass inside of which was a small rose bud. When I took my heart and placed it in God,a hands it began to change, the rose bid blossomed into a beautiful red rose and the walls of the glass heart began to grow stronger and more solid in the hands of God. Over the years that vision has reminded me of how important it is that I trust God and put my life in his hands. No doubt there have also been times when I have forgotten this vision and those were often times that I've grown apart from God.
Right now, I am going through a difficult season in my life.
This vision has again come to mind and I don't ever want to forget it. So this is why I am thinking about getting a rose tattoo. To mark myself with a reminder of the vision that God has given to me as a reminder to keep my heart in His hands.

Early morning contemplation...

Just a few words I scribbled in my notebook tonight/this morning, as I think about what lies ahead in my life journey...

Fear grips my heart like a vice,
the world of unknowns looms ever near,
the "What if's" invade my head.

What have I really known of love?
the mind wonders if all is lost
and hopelessness tries to invade.

Where is peace in this questionable future?
In the depths of desperation and despair?
There's quiet and still in the light.

My heart is known and exposed and raw,
in gentle hands I am carried,
there is no unknown to him.

I could never hope to comprehend,
Grace intercepts my roaming heart,
The mind cannot grasp this depth of love.